bad sommelier. still no biscuit.

(This is a different version of the same story. Consider the change in impact.)

Once there was a sommelier, and he was useless.

One day, a fine woman took her clients for dinner to the restaurant at which this sommelier served. They ordered entrees. She asked for a bottle of wine. He arrived.

"What can I getcha?"

She winced. He had no ideas. One client mentioned what they were eating, and suggested that perhaps a red would be called for.

"Great idea," the sommelier said brightly.

After further prodding, he set out to bring a 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon, Washington State. But first he turned to the woman.

"You're cute. I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers."